Appreciate Yourself Now, No Exit Required

There’s this meme making its way across social media that says: “If someone doesn’t appreciate your presence, make them appreciate your absence.” People post and re-post and re-post-post it seemingly everywhere to a chorus of “amens,” “that’s rights” and a boat load of sistah girl “you know that’s right” hive-fives and affirmations.

Sorry, that’s wrong.appreciation meme x out

Get this: If he (or she) doesn’t appreciate you while you’re there, your invisibility will do little to increase your value; it simply will make you invisible.

Let’s try it this way. I appreciate my laptop because I use it everyday; it’s important to me right now. If it disappears tomorrow, I immediately will miss it and collapse into a sorrowful heap because I already value it today.

Its value to me isn’t predicated upon whether it’s here or not; it matters to me because it matters. And my laptop knows it’s special to me because I treat it that way — or at least it would know if it had a brain instead of a microprocessor.

I like how Zero Dean says it: “If your presence doesn’t add value, your absence won’t make a difference.”

Sure, we tend to miss things or, in this instance, people when they no longer are around. Absence has been known to make one or two hearts grow fonder. But understand, that’s only if those hearts were fond from the start.

Enough of this you’re-gonna-miss-me-when-I’m-gone refrain. If gone is where you want to be, then happily be there. Just don’t expect invisible you to suddenly become more important than visible you, especially to someone who never grasped your importance in the first place.

If you appreciate you, that’s appreciation enough.

-Jonathan Clarke
October 11, 2014

(c) Copyright 2014 Jonathan Clarke, All rights reserved


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